You Might Be A Democrat If...

*You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.

*You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."

*You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.

*You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."

*You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.

*You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.

*You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.

*You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.

*You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.

*You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.

*You've never been mugged.

*You actually expect to collect Social Security.

*You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.

*You think the Great Society has actually worked.

*You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.

*You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President."

*You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.

*Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to composting.

*You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.

*Your High School Year Book goals included the words "help people."

*You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.

*You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.

*You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.

*You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.

*You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.

*You know at least one Vegan.

*You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.

*You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.

*You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.

*You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heroes.

*You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash.

*You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity.

*You actually think that poverty can be abolished.

*You admire the Swedish welfare system.

*You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."

*You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%

*You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.

*After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."